Divorce: Predictors & Outcomes

 

With 40% to 50% of first marriages (Cherlin, 2010) and 60% of second marriages (Amato, 2004) ending in divorce, divorce is a topic that demands discussion.

While the function of marriage has shifted over the years, today’s marriages seek to form unions founded in love, common interest, happiness, and friendship—not unions of obligation as in the past. Could this shift be the very reason divorce rates are increasing?

While, the shifting view of marriage is one explanation for the increase of divorce, there are others. Including: legalization of “no-fault” divorces, change from farming society to industrialized society, access to contraception, women in the workforce, and more. 

How can I know if I am more likely to be in the 50% of marriages that end in divorce?

Amato (2010) identifies some predictors of divorce:

• Parental divorce
• Marrying as a teenager
• Unemployed at time of marriage
• Low educational attainment
• Cohabitating before marriage (this is highly debated)
• Employment of the wife
• Domestic violence
• Infidelity
• Issues with trust
• Poor relationship/communication skills
• High level of conflict and unhappiness
• Low level of commitment

How does divorce impact children?

• A third of child will adjust well and maintain good relationships with both parents (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1980).

• Living arrangement changes (Kelly, 2007). This might be in the form of single-parent household, stepfamily household, moving in with grandparents, or other structures. Potential to diminish the bond with the non-custodial parent.

• Stress from coping and change may cause psychological distress—for 20-25% of children, impaired psychological and social functioning (Kelly, 2002).

• Children might experience clinical depression, poor performance at school, difficulty with friendships, sleep problems, continued hope for parents to reconcile (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1980).

• Half of all children will grow into “worried, underachieving, self-deprecating, and sometimes angry adults” (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989).

• Harsher outcomes for children impacted by lower household income (poverty) or single-parent households: drop out of school, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, poor mental health, and behavior problems (Amato, 2004).

What can I do to help children cope and offset these negative outcomes?

Having meaningful conversations about the divorce and changes with children. Using children’s literature as a means to open discussion can be helpful. Avoid placing your children in the middle of conflict. Offer reassurance and continue routines/family traditions. Encourage children to maintain strong relationships with both parents. Seek professional help if you or children continue to struggle with the divorce for an extended time.

For more information, access my Divorce Brief shared below and under the “Family Resources” tab.

*"Divorce Decree" Picture citation : https://www.google.com/search?q=divorce&client=firefox-a&hs=0wz&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=nY2HUY76N4vA9gTZwYGABw&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1040&bih=573#imgrc=I7liFDAt8e-BbM%3A%3BUnQmGs35tMQMUM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdivorceformen.divorcelawyersformen.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2012%252F10%252FDivorce-Decree1.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdivorceformen.divorcelawyersformen.com%252F%3B850%3B565

How Expensive is Poverty?

“Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.” –James Baldwin

 

Wow! In all my studies of poverty, I have not come across such a powerful statement. Think about it…how expensive is poverty?

Let’s take a step back and define poverty. Poverty is the condition of not having enough income to meet basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter. 

Who suffers from poverty? 

“Women and girls make up 70% of the 1 billion people living on less than a dollar a day” - CARE.org

The “working poor” or individuals stuck in poverty despite efforts to maintain employment -Nightingale & Fix

 Immigrant families - Nightingale & Fix

“1 in 5 American children—some 12 to 14 million” – Brooks-Gunn & Duncan

“Another one-fifth [of children] lived in families whose incomes were no more than twice the poverty threshold” - Brooks-Gunn & Duncan

For 4.8% of all children and 15% of children who ever became poor—childhood poverty lasted 10 years or more. 

Now back to that initial question.  

How expensive is poverty?

As Brooks-Gunn and Duncan’s Table 1 notes, “physical health (low birth weight, growth stunting, and lead poisoning), cognitive ability (intelligence, verbal ability, and achievement test scores), school achievement (years of schooling, high school completion), emotional and behavioral outcomes, and teenage out-of-wedlock childbearing” is the price children in poverty pay.

For poor adults, the working poor, immigrant families, and adolescents the costs of poverty can be attributed to inadequate nutrition; homelessness or poor housing; lower quality neighborhoods; exposure to environmental toxins, family violence; crime; less access to friends, services, and jobs.

Women in poverty are more vulnerable to injury, death from violence, and have fewer opportunities for education and employment.

What is the expense of poverty for the Nation?

According to Holzer, Schanzenbach, Duncan, and Ludwig (2007) the expense of childhood poverty alone costs “about $500 billion per year, or the equivalent of nearly 4% of America’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

More specifically:

•     Reduces productivity and economic output by about 1.3% of GDP
•     Raises the costs of crime by 1.3% of GDP
•     Increases health expenditures and reduces the value of health by 1.2% of GDP.”

What can we do to help?

It essential for us as family educators and professionals to support those in poverty by assisting them in meeting basic needs, offering them emotional and family supports, providing them with the tools and skills needed to be successful at school and in the workplace.

Rank (2004) shares that when families in poverty have a strong support network to help them cope with poverty they often develop a perception that they are “okay” or “fine” and the environment is so familiar and supporting that they lose desire (possibly without knowledge) to find means for overcoming poverty. We need to confront these false perceptions and help break the viscous cycle of poverty for families because the expense is too high—these families deserve better. 

References

• Brooks-Gunn, J. and Duncan, G. J. (1997). The effects of poverty on children. Future of Children, 7(2). 55-71.
• Holzer, H., Schanzenbach, D. W., Duncan, G. J., and Ludwig, J. (2007). The economic costs of poverty: Subsequent effects of children growing up poor. http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/poverty/report/2007/01/24/2450/the-economic-costs-of-poverty/
• http://www.care.org/getinvolved/advocacy/pdfs/whyempowerwomen.pdf
• Nightingale, D. S. & Fix, M. (2004). Economic and labor market trends, Future of Children, 14, 48–59.
• Rank, M. R. (2004). The disturbing paradox of poverty in American families: What we have learned over the past four decades. (Pp. 469-490). In Coleman, M. & Ganong, L. H. Eds. Handbook of Contemporary Family: Considering the Past, Contemplating the Future. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Tips for Work-Family Balance

I often find myself dealing with guilt. It seems that balancing the responsibilities of work and family, always ends in something or someone getting the “short stick” or bad end of the deal. Whether it is my son or my work that acquires that short stick, I find myself feeling pressured at being both a better parent and worker. I am not alone in this. A study from 2008 reported that 75% of employees felt they did not spend enough time with their children[1]. That is an astounding number!

What can we do to help parents ease their guilt and achieve a work-family balance that works for them?

1. Educating ourselves on work-family issues
2. Advocating for family friendly policies within organizations, community, and the culture at large
3. Taking a moment to check out my Work and Family brochure 

                                

                   

HERE ARE A FEW TIPS HIGHLIGHTED IN THE BROCHURE:

• Make time for fun activities (a trip to the park, zoo, family game night, etc.)
• Let go of guilt
• Plan regular date nights
• Establish a morning routine
• Get organized! (chore charts, family calendar, plan meals and lunches, etc.)
• Discuss flexible hours and other work-life policies with your boss
• Use notes, texting, Skype or other tools to stay connected during the day
• Cut out time wasters (less TV, gossip, social media checking, etc.)
• MAKE TIME FOR YOU!

*The brochure is also listed on the “Family Resources” tab with other helpful resources and tools.

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[1] http://futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/21_02_PolicyBrief.pdf

26 Reasons to Consider a Child-Free Life Style

Twenty-six. 26. What does this number mean to you? In spirit of my recent 26^th birthday, I wanted to compile a list of 26 things relevant for families.

And then this fact fell into my lap…Experts say that a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant drops 10% at age 27[1]. In other words, women who are 26 years of age are in their last year of optimal fertility.  

Ok, so what does that mean? Well, for some women, that means your “clock” is ticking and you might be suffering from a severe case of baby fever (the desire to have a baby). However, for a number of women, it means absolutely nothing. Why? 19% of women remain childless[2]. This number has doubled since 1980 and could continue to rise as more women are seeing the child-free life as an acceptable option for them. 

Here are 26 reasons why the child-free life course may be right for you.

Reason #1: FREEDOM![3] The absence of children leaves the opportunity to pick up and travel on a moment’s notice, the freedom to make poor (but fun) choices, and the freedom to a long list of things you cannot do with impressionable children looking up to you for answers.

Reason #2: Less stress[4].

Reason #3: Being able to sleep in!

Reason #4: Higher education[5]. Go after the college degree you want!

Reason #5: You crave independence.

Reason #6: You have plenty of siblings and get your child-fix through nieces and nephews.

Reason #7: Living up to societal norms is not your thing.

Reason #8: Valuing intimacy. Remaining child-free offers you more time to focus on your intimate relationship[6].

Reason #9: Pursuit of an active lifestyle.

Reason #10: The possibility of child support, visitation, and other legal issues involving child custody concerns you.

Reason #11: Rejecting society’s attempt to define women by the act of motherhood[7].

Reason #12: Your career demands your full attention.

Reason #13: Parents are judged harshly[8] and you want no part of that.

Reason #14: You feel sick thinking about changing diapers and potty training.

Reason #15: Enforcing rules and implementing discipline is not how you want to spend your nights and weekends.

Reason #16: Being at home makes you stir-crazy.

Reason #17: The price of childcare ($8,859 a year for an infant in Iowa[9]) is outrageous.

Reason #18: Not having the “mommy” or “daddy” gene.

Reason #19: Not worrying about finding a quality school district[10].

Reason #20: Because you can achieve happiness and satisfaction without raising children.

Reason #21: More time for your interests and hobbies.

Reason #22: No grocery store tantrums!

Reason #23: Financial security and freedom. Being able to buy a house, car, or other items you dream of.

Reason #24: You enjoy being spontaneous without having to worry about arranging childcare or babysitters.

Reason #25: Child-free families are an acceptable family form.

Reason #26: It is your life; only you know what is best for you!

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[1] http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-112136/The-female-fertility-clock-starts-ticking-27.html[2] Bulcroft, R. & Teachman, J. (2004). Chapter 7: Ambiguous constructions: Development of a childless or child–free life course. (Pp. 116–135). In Coleman, M. & Ganong, L. H. Eds. Handbook of Contemporary Family: Considering the Past, Contemplating the Future. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Pub.[3] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/norma-lizeth-morales/child-free_b_1951991.html[4] See footnote 2[5] Smock, P. & Greenland, F. (2010). Diversity in pathways to parenthood: Patterns, implications, and emerging research directions. Journal of Marriage and the Family: Decade in Review, 72, 576–593.  [6] Sassler, S. (2010) Partnering across the life course: Sex, relationships, and mate selection. Journal of Marriage and the Family: Decade in Review, 72, 557–575.[7] See footnote 2[8] Bogenschneider, K. & Corbett, T. (2010). Family policy: Becoming a field of inquiry and subfield of social policy. Journal of Marriage and the Family: Decade in Review. 72, 783–803.[9] http://www.naccrra.org/sites/default/files/default_site_pages/2012/iowa_060612-3.pdf [10] See footnote 1**Picture citation:  https://www.google.com/search?q=no+children&client=firefox-a&hs=zFi&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=TxeEUbGBDdHi4AOZ7ICgAg&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=638#imgrc=e5NTTo2-I2mHCM%3A%3BdPT-0VRxmHJHJM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.slate.com%252Fcontent%252Fdam%252Fslate%252Fblogs%252Fxx_factor%252F2012%252F06%252F14%252Fchoosing_to_be_child_free_there_are_other_kinds_of_babies_%252F1339693532623.jpg.CROP.article250-medium.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.slate.com%252Fblogs%252Fxx_factor%252F2012%252F06%252F14%252Fchoosing_to_be_child_free_there_are_other_kinds_of_babies_.html%3B250%3B229

Interviews and Inquiries

Good morning!

I wanted to draw your attention to another feature of this blog. You might have noticed the "Your Voice"  tab located near the top of the blog. Clicking on this tab will direct you to the following link:
 http://yourvoiceempoweredbyrandie.blogspot.com/.

On this page you will find interviews I have conducted of individuals, professionals, and experts and my responses to questions asked by readers.

You will also have the opportunity to submit an inquiry or request an interview.

Check it out!